This is my 4th Mother’s Day, so I’m thinking about my mom goals for the year. It’s still rather hard for me to imagine that Rocco is almost four, but at the same time, it’s getting more difficult to remember my married life before kids. Sure, I have strong memories of my childhood and early adult life in college and grad school, but those precious first years of marriage before kids almost seem nonexistent.
As I reflect on the past four years, it is important for me to think about how my life has changed in some ways good and others maybe not as good and what I’ve learned about myself. It is a great chance for me to reconnect with myself, remember all of the wonderful moments and think about the things I still want to improve upon as a mother.
In the spirit of reflection, these are my four mom goals for the year — things I want to work on to be the best mommy and wife I can be.
My Four Mom Goals for the Year
Reconnecting with My Husband
For Jade’s birthday, we had the chance to have a nice dinner together. It was our first solo date in probably a year. It’s not like we haven’t hung out together, but all the other nights out were with groups or couple friends and not alone.
This much-needed dinner reminded me of a few things. First, we need to make more time for the two of us to connect. Although I always feel bad about hiring a babysitter, there is a need for Jade and me to have alone, grownup time, to reconnect outside of our kids.
Sure, we did still spent some of the night reminiscing about the kids, but the vast majority of the time was just light and fun. At the end of the night, I was reminded just why I fell in love with my husband. He is fun, silly, smart and funny. We had great conversations and laughed a lot. We need to find more opportunities for that connection to keep our marriage strong.
Thankfully, my parents and sister agreed to watch our kids this summer so we can have a vacation together. I can’t wait for the chance to see a part of the world I’ve never seen and experience all these new things with Jade. I will share more about the trip in July!
I’m really terrible about making time just for myself. On the weekends, I tend to sneak away during nap time to hit up the mall or run some errands on my own, which is always really refreshing. However, I’ve noticed I’m losing my patience a lot sooner in the last couple months, which makes me think I’m in need of more alone time.
I love my kids, but they can be quite a handful. Weekends feel very long, and by Sunday night, I usually feel pretty frazzled. What I need to improve upon is not only my patience, but also asking for what I need. If I’m really feeling burned out, I just need to ask my husband for a break, or if we both need a break, we need to take the kids to the drop in daycare or take turns getting away for a little while. I need to remember that I am not a failure for asking or needing help every now and then, which leads me to my next point.
Letting Go of the Mom-Guilt
As moms, we are so good at making ourselves feel guilty. We feel guilty for working, we feel guilty for asking for me-time, we feel guilty for not being super moms at all times. I need to work on letting go of this guilt. I need to remember that I’m doing the absolute best job I can. Some days aren’t great, but most of the days I’m doing a really good job. I need to allow myself the space to forgive myself if I’m not the best and to not feel guilty if I don’t do things perfectly every day. We are all human and I need to be kinder to myself.
Living in the Present and Cherishing the Little Moments
This is the toughest thing I’m still trying to work on. I am really bad at living in the moment and enjoying the small things. I’m constantly thinking about what else I need to accomplish and I seriously need to work on living in the present. This category also leads to the guilty feelings I have because I do feel like by not being present I often miss out on the little special moments with my kids. I’m just going to keep trying to do the best that I can to live in the present, enjoy my time with my family and cherish all the milestones as they come. I’m a work in progress, what can I say?
What are your mom goals for the year?