I’m the mom whose kids won’t let me pose without jumping in the shot (see above). I’m also the mom who’s super anxious to have my kids home for 2+ weeks while I try to juggle my two full-time jobs. I am the mom who never wanted to be a stay at home mom – not because I don’t think it’s an amazing gig, but because I don’t believe I have the patience or the creativity to handle it. I’m also the mom who will show up for my kids during this strange time and do the best I possibly can.
I’m sharing all of this because of an experience I had at the bank yesterday. I overheard a stay at home mom say many very judgemental things to the working mom who felt overwhelmed at the thought of having to be home for two weeks with her kids. This is how I viewed this interaction. I believe the working mom was simply feeling very anxious and was looking to the other mom to offer support, reassurance, and to relate to her concerns. She was looking for a human connection, comfort even. But what she got was a lot of judgment.
The stay at home mom said some pretty harsh things. She said, in a snippy tone, that she actually enjoyed her children and was looking forward to extra time at home with them. She insinuated that the other mom was just being a complainer and clearly didn’t value time with her kids. I do not believe the working mom doesn’t enjoy time with her children. Nor was she saying that she wouldn’t like extra time at home with them. What I heard her say was that she was anxious and she wanted some reassurance that everything would be ok.
Think about it like this. For the working mom, a job as a stay at home mom is brand new. Sure, us working moms do rear our children at night and on the weekends. But, that is a lot different than 24/7 parenting. Parenting is hard. Being a stay at home mom is really hard. I personally think it’s probably the hardest job that there is. So for the working mom, the thought of being home felt overwhelming.
For me personally, I am anxious about finding enough for us to do. I want to keep everyone feeling happy, busy, and still having fun. I’m also super worried about how I am going to manage keeping up both of my jobs since my kids will be around 24/7.
I am writing this, not to bash stay at home moms. Rather, I am writing this to ensure that everyone is being kind to one another. I am hoping that if you read this, you will be extra gracious toward other moms (and all people) during this really strange time. Before you pass judgement on someone, why don’t you stop for a second and consider their life. Think about how they might experience things differently than you. They may not have the same resources as you or the same life experience as you, and they just may need a shoulder to lean on. No one mom is better than the other mom, we are all just trying the best we can. So let’s be kind and supportive of each other, no matter what kind of mom you are.
Need ideas for how to talk to your kids about the coronavirus? Click here.